My Anticlimax Halloween

Having been brought up under a religious regime where Halloween simply did not exist, I was rather looking forward to joining in the festivities for the first time this year with Noah. As a child, the 31^st of March mainly consisted of opening the door to classmates and friends empty handed but armed with a well rehearsed ‘holier than thou’ speech explaining my family’s abstinence. Not forgetting the guilt ridden ‘it’s up to you’ kind of parental guidance when I’d be invited to a (perish the thought) Halloween party. It was simple, apple bobbing made Jesus sad.

            Determined to have a slightly more light hearted approach, Noah and I carved pumpkin faces, made pumpkin pies, went to a party dressed as a skeleton (where Noah made up for the sweets I lost out on in one great sugar rush) and even stocked the cupboard full of goodies for the trick or treaters. All the above was pretty fun, but not the forbidden fruit I’d played it up to in my head. My pumpkin faces were wasted on my Ashford neighbours whose front door are usually adorned with bin bags and empty bottles (not on bin day I might add rather snobbishly), my mini pumpkin pies (complete with spooky black icing figures) were lost in the pile of sausage rolls and crisps at the party, Noahs suit (although there never was a cuter chubbier skeleton) will join my wedding dress in the ‘worn only once’ cupboard, and the trick or treaters? Well, opening the door with a smile was my first mistake. As for my “wow!” and “ooh!” comments about their outfits, I should have known they’d fall on deaf ears. These children simply hold out their plastic bags whilst their mother hovers in the background playing on her phone. In the sweets go, and off they go, then Noah finally makes it to the door just in time to shut it. Bath time, nigh’ nigh’ Noah, Interview with the Vampire on the TV (boring) and Halloween is over. What was all the fuss about? I think I will direct my creative juices elsewhere next year, probably Christmas. It’s much more my scene, more food, more alcohol, more presents and no doubt it’ll make Jesus much happier.